Jessica Egizii Prompt 1: A Good Man is Hard to Find rewrite

Jessica Egizii
Prompt 1: A Good Man is Hard to Find rewrite

          A loud rumbling broke the relative silence of the forest and I look just in time to see the source of the thundering. A few hundred meters ahead of me a car flew off the road and rolled over once. I quickly try to decide whether to get involved. I glance in the rear view mirror at my current associates, Hiram and Bobby Lee. I met them in prison and although they weren't that bright they were useful enough. The black beat-up car we stole a few states back is on its last legs and we could use a new car, plus our current wardrobe could use an update. I decide to take a look at who we're up against to see if it's worth the trouble.
          I slowly pull up to the smoking car and the first thing I notice is some crazy old woman waving her arms at me like a maniac. This is gonna be too easy. I park the car a few feet away and mull everything over. Hiram and Bobby Lee stay quiet waiting for my call. The family doesn't seem to recognize me. Good. If they keep their mouths shut there's no need to get messy, I don't need to give nearby cops a reason to be anxious. There's a man, his wife, three kids all relatively young, and an old lady who seems a little off her rocker. Finally I make my decision.
         "Hiram, Bobby Lee we're gonna see if they have anything worth taking, money, food you name and we'll see if we can get their car running. No need to shoot unless we're recognized."
        Wordlessly, they got out of they car and sauntered over to the family, I followed close behind. Now that we were up close, I took a real good look at them. The woman was carrying her baby and seemed to be hurt, the two annoying children seemed to actually be enjoying themselves from all the excitement. The man was clearly flustered and angry and the old woman seemed to be looking at him funny.
       "We've had an ACCIDENT!" the children screamed.
       I ignore the little monsters and carefully make my way toward them, trying not to slip.
      "Good afternoon," I say. "I see you all had you a little spill."
      "We turned over twice!" said the hysterical grandmother.
      "Oncet," I corrected. "We seen it happen. Try their car and see will it run, Hiram," I say quietly.            "What you got that gun for?" one of the children asked. "Whatcha gonna do with that gun?"
      My head begins to pound and if I'm not careful I'll shoot these children in the head now to save me the trouble. Rage begins to build and I have to remind myself that I can not go back to prison now in order for it to subside.
      "Lady," I say to the children's mother, dangerously quiet, "would you mind calling them children to sit down by you? Children make me nervous. I want all you all to sit down right together there where you're at."
      "What are you telling US what to do for?" One child persists in asking and my patience wears even thinner.
     "Come here," said their mother.
     "Look here now," the man began suddenly, "we're in a predicament! We're in . . ."
     The old woman shrieked. She scrambled to her feet and stood staring. "You're The Misfit!" she said. "I recognized you at once!"
      Of course that old goat recognized me.
    "Yes'm," I say, smiling slightly because I know what would have happened if she had only kept quiet, "but it would have been better for all of you, lady, if you hadn't of reckernized me."
    "Now you've done it!" the man yelled, "You've really f***ed it up now! Damn cat hidden in the car! Can't do one damn thing right I don't know why we let you come alone all you ever do is ruin everything you old crone!"
       I started to feel embarrassed for the woman, she was gonna die soon and the last thing she was gonna remember was that her son hated her. It reminded me of my own ma and the last thing she remembered before...
        "Lady," I say, "don't you get upset. Sometimes a man says things he don't mean. I don't reckon he meant to talk to you thataway."
         "You wouldn't shoot a lady, would you?" the old woman said and removed a clean handkerchief from her cuff and began to slap at her eyes with it. What a strange thing to say. What difference does it make? Lady, man, rich, poor, we're all food for the maggots in the end might as well have some fun on the way to the ground. I point the toe of my shoe into the ground and make a little hole and then covered it up again.
         "I would hate to have to," I lie, to keep her calm. There's no need to make this harder, that would take all the fun out of it.
        "Listen," the old woman almost screamed, "I know you're a good man. You don't look a bit like you have common blood. I know you must come from nice people!"
       "Yes mam," I say, "finest people in the world." I smile thinking about my mother and daddy, wondering if this old hag could handle the truth. I don't remember my father so much as his belt and all I recall from my mother was her weak voice telling me it was for my own good. It didn't hurt to rewrite history a little. "God never made a finer woman than my mother and my daddy's heart was pure gold," I say.
        Bobby Lee comes back and I tell him to watch the children. These kids clearly had it good, didn't have to grow up as fast as I did. The innocence made me sick. I realize a silence has begun to hang over the air as the startled family still hasn't fully grasped their fates. I decide to fill the silence.
       "Ain't a cloud in the sky," I remark, looking up at it. "Don't see no sun but don't see no cloud neither."
       "Yes, it's a beautiful day," says the old woman."Listen," she said, "you shouldn't call yourself The Misfit because I know you're a good man at heart. I can just look at you and tell."
        No, I think to myself I'm not a good man at heart. There's no such thing. There's only those who do what they want and those who don't. Either way you end up in prison, whether it's behind bars are locked up in your mind. I know which one I'd rather be in.