A Good Man is Hard to find rewrite. The Misfits perspective.

“Bobby Lee! You couldn’t wait for me to get his shirt off before you shot him?!” I [The Misfit] sternly exclaimed and slowly turned my head towards Bobby Lee.

“Sorry you told me to take care of him” Bobby Lee responded.

He’s right, I should know by now he is as simple as they come, but that’s what I like about him. “Well lets get a move on, put the man with the others and make sure to bury our old clothes with em” Stretching my feet, I feel the newly claimed shoes tighten and constrain. These pants are too tight, but they are better than those awful prison jumpsuits. Turning from Bobby Lee and Hiram, who are drudging into the forest, my eyes start following the road that snakes down and around the hill. Suddenly, I spot a cloud of dust following a car headed in our direction. “Wonderful, must be former friends of our gracious hosts.” Just as suddenly as they appeared the car flips and quickly rolls to a stop. I shout, “And that’s our cue. Alright boys, ready or not here we come”, and start the engine…

As we pull up I can see clearly what happened, just some lost family who picked the wrong road to follow. I pity their luck but then again, I wasn’t the one who brought them hear. “Alright, you know the plan. Don’t say a word, I’ll do all the talking. I want Bobby on the right and Hiram on the left. Make sure the kids don’t scramble. You know how feel about kids.”

“We know boss” they respond in unison.

“Let’s make this quick. This time make sure to get his shirt off of him before you kill him.” I turn and make direct eye contact with Bobby Lee. He forfeits his gaze and examines his lap. “Let’s go”. As soon as I state this, the creak of the car door opening emphasizes my order. Grabbing my hat and gun, I slowly exit the car. And just as I instructed Bobby and Hiram begin to surround the family.

“We’ve had an ACCIDENT” the children screamed.

An awful sound, children. How they always tend to complicate things.

“Good afternoon, I see you all had you a little spill”. Funny, I can see that the oldy lady knows she recognizes me from somewhere. You can see it on her puzzled face. Let’s see if she can figure it before I give her any new clues.

“We turned over twice!” said the grandmother.

“Once” Ah and she dramatizes, don’t think that will save you. “We seen it happen. Try their car and see will it run, Hiram”. Nodding, Hiram can get anything running. Maybe it’ll be better than the hunk of junk we relieved from its previous owners.

“What you got that gun for?” the boy asks “Whatcha gonna do with that gun?”

God how children complicate things, something in their innocence always allows them to ask the questions that adults are just too scared to. “Lady, would you mind calling them children to sit down by you? Children make me nervous. I want all you all to sit down right together there where you’re at.” Lets just make sure they don’t scramble because I don’t want to spend all afternoon searching every little hole. Nodding to Bobby Lee, he reassures me he has them under control.

“What are you telling US what to do for?” the little girl exclaims.

A sense of irritation rises. That same sense of questioning again. Their innocence leaves an absence of inherent authority. It gives them the power to question when most would understand who is in control.

“Come here!” the mother cries and the children follow.

Good, some sense of authority has been installed in these animals.

“Look here now, we’re in a predicament!” the man claims with a shaky sense of shock “We’re in…’

The Grandmother jumps up in a panic, “You’re the Misfit! I recognize you at once!”

Haha how my reputation precedes me, smiling coyly. They must be doing a better job of looking for me. “Yes’m, but it would have been better for all of you, lady, if you hadn’t of reckernized me”

The man abruptly turns to the old lady and screams profanity at her.

“Lady, don’t you get you upset. Sometimes a man says things he don’t mean.” Just like my previous claim of safety, you were dead as soon as you turned down this road. “I don’t reckon he meant to talk to you thataway”

“You wouldn’t shoot a lady, would you?” Quickly pulling a handkerchief to dry her impending tears.

I slowly place the butt of my rifle on the ground while pondering this question. It wouldn’t be the first and probably won’t be the last but what choice does anyone really have, “I would hate to have to”.

“Listen” the old lady cries, “I know youre a good man. You don’t look a bit like you have com- mon blood. I know you must come from nice people!”

Nice people huh? Quite the impression. Ma and Pa would be so proud. “Yes mam, finest people in the world. God never made a finer woman than my mother and my daddy’s heart was pure as gold.” Ma probably would have appreciated the kind words. But unfortunately, lady that’s the most you people will ever know of them and anyone else after this encounter. “Watch them children, Bobby Lee, you know they make me nervous”. Realizing how rehearsed that response was, I struggle to think of what to say next. That my father was a bastard and my mother his whore of a servant. Quickly turning my head up, “Aint a cloud in the sky, don’t see no sun but don’t see no cloud either”.

“Yes, it’s a beautiful day, listen, you shouldn’t call yourself The Misfit because I know youre a good man at heart. I can just look at you and tell”.

Wow lady you really have no idea how clueless you are.

“Hush” the man cries “Hush! Everybody shut up and let me handle this!”

There is a kind of innocence to her, she cant really believe that “I prechate that, lady”. But you couldn’t be more wrong.